Looking beyond the madness…..

This view gave me solace

This view gave me gladness

This view gave me the power to heal

I have needed this window and this view

At a time in my life where I have been devalued

Worth less every day and every step of the way

This sunset, this seascape, these mountains gave back

Worth less every day and every step of the way

At a time in my life where I have been devalued

I have needed this window and this view

This view gave me the power to heal

This view gave me gladness

This view gave me solace

 

© Alison Jean Hankinson

This is for d’Verse poetics. Our theme was to take a picture from a window…

 

 

Missing Ellen

For a moment my resolve waivers

I am on a precipice being plunged into darkness

By the weight of losing you.

Dull ache and yearning for your return.

Was I a good parent?

Should I have done more?

A flicker of doubt devours me.

 

©Alison Jean Hankinson

This is for d’Verse. Happy sixth birthday. It is Quadrille night and the word we were given was flicker. Ellen is my eldest twin daughter and we left her behind in NZ- very remiss of us. XXX

Whalebone and lace

I wanted you to know I had worth

Beyond the kitchen sink and the classroom

I was shaped in whalebone and lace

 

My dreams fashioned and woven

Delicate structures faded from regret and loss

Unheard songs and stories stitched in unseen seams.

 

Hidden from view by what you all chose to see in the lines on my face

A smile here, a kindess there, eau de cologne on a summer breeze

Handbag, lipstick, loose change. Sad eyes, tears shed, loves lost, hearts bled.

 

But I was shaped in whalebone and lace

Beyond the confines and drudgery of my miserable life

I wanted you to know I was beautiful and had worth.

 

Alison Jean Hankinson

This was for Toads, and it was about Bang-You’re dead… I kind of went off at a tangent at first and thought I was supposed to kill someone, so wrote a poem about killing someone with a cricket bat… it had a touch of dark humour about it, and then I thought maybe that wasn’t what it was supposed to be…this was actually attempt 3….

The image was portrait of Dona Isabel de Porcel by Goya. creative commons.

 

 

Game Over.

Worthlessness wins

Nauseating numbness

Dreams diminish and die

Silent sorrow surfaces

Regret rising like a rancid tide.

 

Regret rising like a rancid tide

Silent sorrow surfaces

Dreams diminish and die

Nauseating numbness

Worthlessness wins.

 

Alison Jean Hankinson

A palindrome poem. A first attempt at this form for Toads. With love.

Tears of summer

It should have been a whimsical day. Instead, I have existed somewhere between morose and forlorn. The summer seems to have vanished and with it all sense of joy and certainty only to be replaced by some strange uneasy restlessness, not quite admitting defeat but eager to have some steerage and surety about where my next steps will lead me.

It has been a weekend of waves and high tides, unsettling and I have been unable to make the most of getting down to the sea. Today it became a necessity, to track the well-worn paths through the grass, camera in hand with the hope of catching a gull in flight or a breath-taking landscape to restore some semblance of order into my world.

Tide high Seagulls fly
Raindrops splatter Terns shelter
Summer deserts us

 

This is for Haibun Monday at d’Verse, where were asked to think about summer.

 

Alison Jean Hankinson

 

Lai Lines

Angst and angry throes

And Midsummer Woes

June blue

Sadness overflows

Dark Depression shows

Blue you

When Nobody knows

Just how raw it blows

Breakthrough.

 

Alison Jean Hankinson

Still playing around with the lai concept for d’Verse...whilst watching the early votes come in……

Stunned silence

The deafening silence of tragedy

the sound of pain beyond human comprehension

Stunned into silence a soundless

pause perhaps if we remain completely silent

maybe we won’t be noticed and it won’t be real.

Shrill sounds reveal that it is scarily real after all.

 

Alison Jean Hankinson

 

This is for d’Verse quadrille.

In 2005 I was in London with a group of school students when there was the second bombing, my students who were young and had never experienced anything like that before just wanted to get on their coach and go home immediately which just wasn’t possible, we left the following morning and the bus was eerily silent and remained so until we got beyond Birmingham. Silence is deafening in tragic circumstances. My heart and love to all to all who were touched by the Manchester bombing.