For a tiny while I was extinct.
Kaput, derailed, unhinged and pakaru.
Afraid that the slightest breeze might sink me.
I lost all grace, all meaning, all love of life.
The empty skin where my laughter used to rise
Fluttered lifeless in the wind.
© Alison Jean Hankinson
this is for d’verse quadrille. the word this week was extinct.
The image is my own, it is a Westerley Pentland near Glasson Dock earlier this year, it seems abandoned. At the time I was struggling with my own dereliction. It broke my heart seeing it like this, as my Dad had one just the same and we spent many happy times aboard, Dad’s Pentland was called Tolivar.
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Hues of Hankinson 
The picture is so sad… just like the poem when it seems like everything is lost.
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Part of me want to board the boat and sail it out into the sunset so that it can rise like a phoenix from the ashes, but it would probably not be water-tight and I would probably get arrested.
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What a sad poem, and the image is as well. This line really hit my heart: ‘Afraid that the slightest breeze might sink me.’
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The boat and I had a lot in common at the time.
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I hope you are past it now.
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I am an old man and don’t get out much. Pakaru is a new word for me. Love it and how it fits here.
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It is Maori- it means broken. not fit for purpose.
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The last two lines are fabulous. I think you really capture depression here, that loss of grace.
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Those last two lines are very emotive, and paint a really clear picture. I just wanted to give you a hug.
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Thank you. Hug received and appreciated. XXX
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Pakaru is a new word for me also….interesting that it is a Maori word. We learned so much about this amazing culture on our Australian/New Zealand trip.
These lines:
“The empty skin where my laughter used to rise
Fluttered lifeless in the wind.”
relate to the sails in the image I suppose….but could so easily relate to an aging person as well….the collagen lost in the skin…the crepe-like hang to the skin on the arms, the neck….the aging boat, the aging individual.
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A grounded boat is a sad sight. Hope isn’t quite extinct though 🙂
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I’m glad it was a tiny while. I feel the angst in your words.
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I am glad to hear extinction lasted only a tiny while.
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Very visceral imagery Alison – most effective! Pakaru is a fascinating word. That pic of the sailboat is a wonderful pairing with your poem. It certainly is pakaru.
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I too learned the meaning of a new word. I’ve been in that same place as the boat and you…the last two lines are so descriptive of depression. Hopefully someone will come along and want to restore that boat to its “laughter” again and get it back in the water where it belongs.
Gayle ~
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How depressing that sight is. I love this part specially:
The empty skin where my laughter used to rise
Fluttered lifeless in the wind.
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I’m pleased to see you back, Alison, and was touched deeply by your quadrille. I like the way you became one with the abandoned boat. I especially love the imagery in the lines:
‘The empty skin where my laughter used to rise
Fluttered lifeless in the wind’.
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Wonderful job personifying this tiny boat.
I love your photo of the bridge and the cows as well!
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