Benign banter

It has been a time of renewal, a time of shifts and loss and mourning, a time of giving and holding others, a time of allowing self to be swept aside. My father in law passed away on Dec 1st, one short week earlier we had finally moved house, the nights were long and cold, I packed and unpacked, we haemorraghed money- my husband was a selfless soul endlessly on the road caring for his father and mother, answering endless telephone calls- moments lost, tablets forgotten, repeated conversations, fragments of life recurring then receding, we collected groceries, cooked meals, later we watched as he listlessly slept and shouted and screamed in some other life, some other world crying through pain for help and searching for security and struggling for each long laboured breath until he was gone.

Each day I have gone to work, in my new job, loving the company of my new colleagues, welcoming the benign banter of everyday life, desperate for a smidging of something that resembled a slower pace, a calmer moment, welcoming the newfound calm of our homely little house, genuinely craving the solitude that I know will energise and bring renewal. The moments where the sky in all its splendour is the most treasured and important thing, when the cold chill biting at my fingers and toes reminds me of the joy of life, longing for the frozen earth to yield to spirited snowdrops and there to be enough space for me to savour the solitude that I love so much.

January brings snow

and frozen slivers of ice

Witch Hazel shivers.

© Alison Jean Hankinson.



This is for D’verse. Love to all and Happy New Year.

Photos Hank Kendal 068

Author: alisonhankinson

Walking tall whenever I can.

15 thoughts on “Benign banter”

  1. I’m so pleased to see you back, Alison, but sorry for your loss. You seem to have had one of those times when everything happens at once and you don’t have time to take a breath or, as you say, ‘a time of allowing self to be swept aside’. A new home and a new job! Solitude and snowdrops – a calming image – but I feel for the shivering witch hazel. I hope the New year brings you happiness and peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so sorry for your loss and all that you have gone through. It seems we are so alone in these times.The shivering witch hazel is so sad and such a heartbreaking image. Good to see you back.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sorry for your loss, and in the midst of such turmoil – moving house, new job. The craved for solitude rings through your brilliant description, begs me to pray for it on your behalf. Take care.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: