Snow-capped mountains
Memories frozen in time
Sun melts through the pain.
I wrote the Haiku on Friday- mum’s birthday and what surprised me most is that this is the first year that I haven’t spent the day in tears, in fact I didn’t cry at all. I am not sure if this is some miraculous part of healing or because we are now at least home. All the other years I had to cope with both the feelings of loss and the separation by distance.
The snowy theme continued throughout the weekend and we set off on Saturday to visit Hays Garden Centre and in search of snow for Emily. We killed a few ghosts in Hays, it was a place I visited with mum one summer. We then drove up through Ambleside and snaked off to go up Kirkstone Pass to the third highest Pub in England, the highest inhabited building in Cumbria. As we drove past the chocolate box houses, with the gentle snowflakes falling, Mull of Kintyre was playing on the radio, and I was transported instantly back to Christmas past, as a youngster at Christmas celebrations with mum and dad and their friends and drunken antics and singing and I could hear mum’s laughter echoing through my head. The memory was so strong and this was when the tears were shed. The sense of both happiness and loss was overwhelming.
©Alison Jean Hankinson
Mum passed away 9 years ago in 2008, today was her birthday. XXX
This is my offering for d’Verse haibun.
Share this:
Happy birthday mum. The photo is beautiful. Hope you’re taking good care of you. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very nice remembrance of your mother.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this … maybe we need those tears that are both happy and sorrowful at the same time. Being home gives you a lot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
many thanks. It was lovely to have the cold and the snow..
LikeLike
And a happy birthday to your wonderful mum. A great way to celebrate her. She must be looking down at you and beaming. Great haibun 😊🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thankyou. I would like to think so too. XXX
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
There comes a year when you don’t cry. I don’t know that it means the love has shrunk, simply that we’re learning to come to terms with the loss.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful! It’s almost 20 years since I lost my mum, but every birthday, I think of her.
You’ve written a wonderful tribute.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A memorable memorial to your mum! I lost mine in 2016, and my Dad in 2011–whose death anniversary arrives this Thursday. The loss doesn’t lessen; we simply adapt to it better as we carry on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Much love to you. Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks; and to you, too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am glad you found happy memories to share the tears with.
Both of my wifes parents have passed and there are times I see their memories weighing heavily behind her eyes. Particularly around the holidays, and their birthdays. I try to keep it light those days and remind her that how she is living her life, is a great testament and tribute to them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your mom and my firstborn share a birthday. 🙂
This is my favorite section of your piece:
“As we drove past the chocolate box houses, with the gentle snowflakes falling, Mull of Kintyre was playing on the radio”
I’m glad they were at least partially happy tears this year.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A lovely tribute to your mom.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A beautiful post! You never quite get over losing your mom. What a beautiful tribute to that memory.
Dwight
LikeLiked by 1 person
thankyou. XX
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nearly a year for me and I’m sending love and hugs, Alison. Such a beautiful haiku.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Much love to you. XXXX
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful photos….wonderful memories written here. Your description of the places and the feelings is so very good (chocolate houses!). It’s interesting….we carry our mums with us all the time…their connection, their mark is on our belly for our lifetime (our navel/bellybutton). I think that indelible connection is always strong…it’s just that the rawness of the losing eases over the years. Happy birthday to you mum….angels along the way for her and you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thankyou. XXXX
LikeLike
beautiful photo of the rooftops. A lovely dedication to your mum. Happy birthday to her.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The countryside sounds wonderful and your grief is contained in the Haibun with much love.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you for sharing this. your memories are so tender and bright after all the years. each one you share becomes part of us who read it too.
LikeLike
Evocative haibun conveys powerful memories…glad you could be home 🙂 Missing my mother too (2002)!
LikeLiked by 1 person
much love to you. XX
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks…and you too 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
A beautiful haibun Alison and I love the photographs too. I can just picture you at Hayes Garden Centre, a place we loved to visit when we lived in Cumbria, and all the synchronicities of life with your mum brought back by the music xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person