Fear’s icy tendrils caress the nape of my neck
I see the mangled wreckage up ahead
Acrid smoke spewing from the burnt-out shell
That was your car.
Carnage.
Plastic bags strewn across the carriageway carelessly.
Empty nest, neglected summer,
Loneliness brandished in the scorched tyre treads.
Relief washes over me
I am waterfall to babbling brook
Phoenix from the ashes-you live on
We have a second chance to ignite and burn brightly.
©Alison Jean Hankinson
This is for d’Verse where metaphor is the challenge.
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Love the relief… so many times we have a bumpy road in our relationship (sorry for the cliche)
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Many years ago, it happened to me. Only the other way around, my Husband found my car, after it had been towed to the dealership. Not a good way to find out. I was given another chance, it wasn’t my time. Perhaps I was a phoenix, too.
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Much love to you. I am glad you lived to tell the tale. XXX
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Seeing the wrecked car of someone you love has to be the worst thing and you have conveyed it so well – the line ‘That was your car’ is enough to give me the chills. I like the reversal in the final stanza with ‘Relief washes over me’ and ‘We have a second chance to ignite and burn bright’.
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I liked the line: “I am waterfall to babbling brook”
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Many thanks Frank.
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This burns brightly, Alison!
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many thanks. XX
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Oh, this:
“Empty nest, neglected summer,
Loneliness brandished in the scorched tyre treads.”
Fantastic.
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Brilliantly told with dazzling metaphors!
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A story-teller of a poem. Drama, caught breath, voice exactly what it ought to be.
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Thank you. XX
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Such a frightening thing, even in metaphor. And the relief – I imagine I would be babbling as well to discover my loved on was safe. Excellent poem and metaphors.
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Thank you so much.
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“I am waterfall.” If that doesn’t describe relief after a great tension I don’t know what does. Nice!
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Thank you. XXX
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Powerful images. What a relief the ending was.
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Many thanks. XXX
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An emotional roller-coaster of a poem.
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Oh my!!! Without reading any of the comments here, I’m thinking you’re writing this from a personal experience…this is raw writing and the fear is visceral….and then the relief. I am at the scene with you here…and the metaphors are so well done.
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