Knickerbocker glory’s in tiger country.

knickerbocker glory

So you might not know what a knickerbocker glory is, I never had one but always coveted one…in every cafe we ever went in as a child I watched enviously as other children were given these beautiful treats by doting grandparents. I wasn’t the only deprived child, my husband also coveted a knickerbocker glory and never got one. This current generation with mcflurries and kiwiyo will never understand our loss, I suspect there must be something they covet…maybe it is cabbage or tapioca..or semolina…

Anyway I had to have surgery this week and it was classed as high risk and I am classed as high risk. I don’t have cancer, I have chronic diseases which is exactly like it sounds..chronic kind of slow and lingering. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Ulcerative colitis and a bit of Sjogren’s, I also bleed in surgery for no known reason and have allergies to a fair few antibiotics including penicillin and also a latex allergy, add in steroid dependency immunosuppressant drugs and I am quickly becoming the last person you want in your operating theatre we can now add in difficult intubation on more than one occasion and to be fair you wouldn’t touch me with a barge pole if you could help it.

It was my sixteenth surgery. That is my sixteenth surgery done with anaesthetic and cutting in Theatre, not including those other procedures like the colonoscopies, endoscopies, flexi-sigmoidoscopies, IVF procedures, MRI’s CT’s and minor intrusions.

There will be many of you out there that have been through more and many that have been through less but all I can tell you is that despite everything, which included losing 3 litres of blood in 2 minutes in my last surgery and nearly not surviving this one had terrified me the most. The sixteenth.

The sixteenth surgery was in tiger country. Not in my belly or my abdomen or some big roomy cavern but up my nose and into my head to the deep space beneath the brain that is called the sphenoid sinus. Tiger country because the membranes are all that stands between the scalpel and the brain, Tiger country because the membranes are all that stands between the scalpel and those major blood vessels and arteries. Tiger country because that is how Dr Shetty described it and that is how I found my peace on the afternoon of my surgery, he was going to be slow and careful and exercise stealth to remove the disease and infection from the tiger country.

Tyger Tyger, burning bright,

In the forests of the night;

William Blake.

The team were meticulous in their preparation, no sign of latex, blood products on standby and two full anesthetists as well as an anaesthetic technician and I was swallowed in the most wonderful blanket of fentanyl to wander through the forests in the thick of night to hide from the shadows of the tigers burning bright. It was so warm and I was in a cafe and I was going to be getting my first ever knickerbocker glory, it had been ordered and it was taking such a long time to come. My mouth watered at the thought of the coolness of the ice cream and the lusciousness of the fruit. It was so hot in the cafe and I needed air, so I sat on the step in the doorway to feel the breeze across my face, and there it was on its way out to me when they called me back. They were calling my name rousing me from my sleep and it was so warm and I wanted to wait and get my ice cream- my knickerbocker glory, but the calling wouldn’t let me stay and I had to waken.

It was over. Job done. Temperature had dropped to 35.8 so I was laden with heated blankets and on oxygen, despite their best efforts I had been a “challenging” intubation and my throat was raw and sore, and my right eye was watering from the sticky gel they had used to protect my eyes from being shut so tightly. I looked at the clock and checked the time. it was 15.45 and I was alive. 15.45 and I had survived and Dr Shetty had removed the disease and brought me safely back from the Tiger Country.

I cannot thank them enough.